Point #4: TGIF

Throughout the history of television, Friday night was a sore spot for TV programmers (with the exception of sports).



Except for one time in the late '80's and early '90's: the TGIF prime-time block of family programming on ABC. "Full House," "Family Matters," "Step By Step,": all those classics were broadcast every Friday night.

The shows were introduced by a character from the line-up (Urkel, DJ). More often than not, the characters would point out a moral theme that ran throughout the episodes (honesty, resisting peer pressure, taking nerds to the dance). Though all the shows were popular, the whole nation waited to see Urkel unveil his latest contraption, only to accidentaly wreak havoc. This was all a lengthy prelude for his catchphrase: "Did I do that?"



Urkel was meant to be a minor character, but became a regular in the second season. The second season began in September, 1990: freshman year of high school for me.
Of all the times to show quality family programming on a Friday night, when teenagers are usually getting high or laid, ABC decides to put its power block during my freshman semester. Boy, did it work. I never went out on Friday night, never smoked pot or got drunk. Hell, I was a virgin throughout high school.


Why did ABC want me to be so pure? Two reasons: 1) So I would set a fine example for younger viewers; 2) It wanted a monopoly on Brown Nerds. (I was a clumsy, brown nerd like Urkel with coke bottle glasses - I was meant to represent the fat nerds, Urkel the skinny ones). Indeed, I wonder if my show was part of the TGIF lineup back then. Makes sense: I only watched TV on Friday nights. No one wants to watch you watch TV (unless you're Homer Simpson).

In the fall of '95, when I was a college sophomore, I got stoned and drunk on Friday nights. A year later, seeing that their TGIF spell wouldn't work - that their blatant attempt at conformist mind control and missionary work (what do you think the "G" in TGIF stands for) was futile - ABC cancelled "Step By Step." In the fall of '97 - the year I lost my virginity and the year I became 21 (the legal drinking age, which meant ABC could take off the leash and let me drink on Friday nights without worrying that I would set a bad example for the young viewers) - Family Matters moves to CBS. Maybe if I shoot heroin on Fridays, "Hope and Faith" will be dropped like a hot potato.

I don't plan on watching any TV tonight. I won't even surf the web or blog tonight. But don't worry your pretty little head: on Monday, I will post up point five and, by that point, I suggest that somebody out there tells me the name of my show, the time and the sponsors.
And three words for ABC: Cut - it - out!

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