Point #11: Ooh, That Smell/Can't You Smell That Smell

This point is real easy to make.

One day in spring of '04, I saw a website that linked to an ad for a Disney protest. It decried Disney's sweatshop practices. For those of you numbskulls who don't know, Disney owns ABC. So what could be more fun than a reality show star like myself to completely lambaste the network he works for by shitting on its parent company.
Seems a lot of people were shitting on Disney at the protest. How else could you explain the smell of all those malodorous, malnutritioned malcontents? Most people would walk away thinking: a) protestors smell bad; b) they can finally find a white chick - sorry, a white postfeminist who blurs the lines of gender codes with her rainbow bandana - who will accept them no matter how bad they smell. For a few seconds, I thought the latter.
But I was thinking. The ruse would be too obvious if Disney paid all the people around me to act like they like Disney. There has to be some form of dissent to make it realistic. Walking down to Central Park after talking to the Indian cabby about Aishwarya Rai, I felt for the first time since 1996 like I wasn't on TV. Hanging my head in soul-crushing disappointment, I left the demonstration realizing that Disney paid the Disney-hating extras to smell bad. The unbearably noisome throng was too much for one enlightened individual to withstand. So
I walked back with ABC making me look like I realized protesting against Disney was useless.



Note: I'd like to thank Linfluenza and Buddafied for being forthcoming and telling me my life is on TV. All those crack scandals you read about me in the papers aren't true, I swear. Check out Buddafied's blog. Wait - he didn't write another post - maybe THEY GOT TO HIM!!!

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